Johnson's
First Law:
When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient
possible time.
Johnson's
Second Law:
If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events
take place, they will all fall on the same evening.
Johnson's
Third Law:
If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue containing
the article, story, or installment you were most anxious to read.
Corollary: All of your friends either missed it, lost it, or threw it out.
Johnson's
First Law of Auto Repair:
Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car
to the vehicle's exact geographic center.